


The Heat Room

by janeitesarah



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A/B/O, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Ben is just trying to forget, Butchers and delivery men/women, F/M, Gratuitous mentions of steak, Handing in my adult card after this one, How to Negotiate Heat, I blame all the A/B/O in this fandom, I'm not entirely sure, Little Omega Voices, Mating, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating Rituals, Mitaka laughs his head off, Nosy Neighbors, This might be crack fic, not terribly explicit, omg what have i done, rey is not amused
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-07-15 18:44:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16069040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janeitesarah/pseuds/janeitesarah
Summary: Rey and Ben have negotiated rules regarding Heat.  It's a big surprise and lots of (nonflammable) fun.  Until Rey decides it's time to up the ante.I think this qualifies as crackfic.  I'm not entirely sure.Chapter 2: Alpha Provides STEAK!Yeah, you can guess where this is going...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MalevolentReverie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalevolentReverie/gifts).



> This started as a plot bunny after I read The Knotting Shop by crossingwinter, which I adore and have read and reread so many times I lost count, because any story with knitting (let alone an A/B/O) has my absolute attention, and that one is adorable. One line in particular, about Ben joking he'd have to buy a new bed because that one was starting to slosh a bit from all the heat-sex, was the beginning of this.
> 
> And I thought I'd write a cute little thing about how Rey and Ben go out and find a heat-approved mattress they can try out.
> 
> THEN, I read (and read and reread and giggled all the way through) MalevolentReverie's Aurebus Teneo Lupum, and met Rey's Little Voice. (I am giving you FULL CREDIT for this iteration of that little piece of crazy.)
> 
> And because I'm me, I can't write a sweet, tender story about lovey-dovey heat stuff. No. I have to come up with some kind of crazy comedy that makes me think maybe I should turn in both my Adult Card AND my Academic Card, because damn. This is just...I can't even. I can't EVEN tell you where this came from.
> 
> And somewhere in the middle of writing it...well. Here are the results. I thought the two of you should see what your writing has wrought upon the world.

In the three years since they mated, Rey and Ben had developed Rules related to their life together. Some of these were simple (No ripping off the expensive lace boy shorts, Ben!), and others more complex (You are absolutely NOT allowed to talk CAD at the dinner table, Rey! Not even if it relates to something in the house!). 

The most important rules related to the Heat Room.

Ben wasn’t certain how the guest bedroom became the Heat Room; it just did. Rey’s first heat after their mating caught up with her in the guest bedroom, they spent 5 days in it, and from then on, that room was…well, the Heat Room. Through a process of discrete discussion and significant looks, a series of rules and norms developed around that space. The most important are as follows:

1\. They did not discuss, label, name, or acknowledge the existence of the Heat Room outside of Heats.  
2\. Under NO circumstances was Ben allowed to enter the Heat Room outside of an Official Heat Day.  
3\. Rey had (almost) complete and total control of what went on in the Heat Room outside of Official Heat days.

These terms suited Ben quite well; Rey’s nesting always went better when she was alone, and he loved the surprise of seeing what she would come up with. And she always came up with awesome ideas.

They had replaced the mattress once (because after four Heats, it began to smell a bit rank), and they always ended up burning the sheets in the fire pit on their backyard patio (there was NO way they could be saved) on the last day of Heat; their own little Post-Heat ritual. In the off months, Rey had carte blanc to do what she wanted to prepare for her Heats (as long as it wasn’t flammable) and she took full advantage of that. 

Most of the furniture was the same as it had been when the area was a guest room, except for the original night stand, which was destroyed by an accidental fire during their second Heat. Rey had thought a candle might be romantic. And it WAS, until they… kinda… forgot about it? The fire department showed up when their neighbors saw the flames and called 911, but Rey and Ben were rather…preoccupied. That incident ended when the two of them, knotted together and wrapped in blankets, were carried out onto the front lawn while the firefighters doused the fire and turned on the fans to air out the rest of the house. 

Thank goodness for Heat Insurance. 

Ben drew the line at anything with a flame after that- one of the few times he put his foot down about Rey’s Heats and Nesting- and immediately arranged for a security system and fire alarm to be installed. Rey bought remote-controlled, battery-operated flameless candles that worked pretty well and had the effect she wanted. When they weren’t smashed in a Heat frenzy.

The new security system had a setting for Heats, and could automatically close the new door they had to have installed because the firemen broke down the old one. In the aftermath of the fire, with firemen and police running around, Ben realized the back door hadn’t been shut at all that Heat from the time he came home (three days earlier) until the firemen left, and anyone and everyone could have paraded through the house, stealing them blind and making wacky porno videos to post on the internet. He didn’t dare Google “Couple in heat while house burns” or other, related searches because honestly, he didn’t want to know.

With that in mind, Ben paid extra money for the voice-activation feature, allowing him to activate the system by simply yelling “HEAT!” at the top of his lungs from anywhere in the house.

 

 

Generally, Ben helped Rey clean up the biggest part of the Heat mess and left the Heat Room 48 hours after Heat ended (this being considered the last Official Heat Day) when they went outside to burn the sheets. While they were both a little sad and nostalgic watching the sheets burn, because Heat was a Good Thing, at the same time, after 5 days of Heat/Rut, they were ready to be normal for a while. 

For the next 4 months, the Heat Room door remained tightly closed. No one went into the Heat Room. No one acknowledged the Heat Room. No one opened the door to the Heat Room for *any* reason.

 

 

Ben always knew when Rey started to feel her Heat coming; there would be a slight, stale Heat smell around the door to the Heat Room, indicating the door *might* have been opened. But if she was just opening the door to look in, it was still a couple of months out.

The next sign was when he saw the door slightly open. Of course, he did not acknowledge this in any way, nor did he enter the Heat Room; but he always made a mental note that Rey was nesting and it was time to make sure the Nesting account was fully funded.

Because according to Rey, if you are going to have a Heat Room, you *need* a Nesting Account.

Sure enough, two weeks later when he checked the bank accounts, the Nesting Account showed some large purchases. He never questioned Rey on these purchases (he enjoyed his surprise) but the size of one of those purchases at a local furniture and appliance store did have him scratching his head. The bed frame was in pretty good shape, and had just been reinforced with titanium rods, so it didn’t really need replacing. And it would be several more heats before the mattress would need to be replaced; Rey had gone all-out with an organic, Heat-recommended mattress sporting a waterproof core and a thick, replaceable cover that wicked moisture away and was washable at the local dry-cleaners (specializing in repairing Heat-related damage to fabrics and materials). The manufacturer guaranteed that with proper care, the cover would last 10 Heats before it needed to be replaced, and the core would last a lifetime.

Ben would believe it when he saw it.

 

 

The purchases continued. Some were obviously regular Heat-related purchases; the grocery store (frozen dinners were a favorite during Heat, as were Hot Pockets, frozen pizza, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and an assortment of Ben & Jerry’s), the personal care store (Rey preferred a specific shower gel during the run-up to her Heat and the week or so after it), cleaning supplies (from an online company specializing in Heat-related cleaning), and the home store for what he assumed were new sheets. From the amount of the purchase, they were probably top-of-the-line Heat-Sheets, guaranteed to Take a Heat and Still Smell Sweet (or some other ridiculous, cheesy slogan; a stupid tag-line probably thought up by a Beta who had no idea what Heat was like). There were several purchases at the local DIY store (he couldn’t imagine what they would be for), and from a window company. 

A week later, Ben came home from work and found the two windows in the Heat Room replaced with the newest Heat-approved designs; these let the light in but were opaque enough no one could see in, and had light-blocking shades built into the frame so couples could darken the room enough to sleep during the day between waves, but not give the neighbors a show during Heat madness. 

Ben breathed a sigh of relief; he had a hazy memory of seeing old Mrs. Arbogast next door staring at them in horror when they’d been knotted in front of the window during their last Heat, the curtains having been torn away in what he could only assume was a heat-induced frenzy he did not recall. Ben was pretty sure this was the reason the neighbors had been staring at their chins rather than their eyes for the last 5 months; if there was one thing Mrs. Arbogast was good at, it was filling in the neighborhood on the Latest Ruckus in the Solo Household, as she called Rey’s Heats. Sometimes, Ben was sure she stood outside their house and listened just to make sure she got as much gossip as she possibly could.

He suspected she was the neighbor who had called the fire department during that second Heat; but while that had been embarrassing to the Nth degree, it was something they should have been able to avoid, all things considered. It wasn’t like they ADVERTISED what was going on, after all. It was an accident.

Ben was pretty sure Mrs. Arbogast wouldn’t see it that way, but the facts remained.

Now if they could just soundproof their house against the entire neighborhood, maybe she’d run out of things to gossip about.

 

 

A week or so after that, the lingering smell of fresh Heat began to waft up and down the hallway, through the kitchen and living room, and around Rey’s office at the front of the house. The delicate scent was sweet and light, nothing like it would be when Rey’s Heat was imminent, but reminded Ben he had about 3 weeks until their first Official Heat Day. He submitted a request for Heat Days at work the next day, and tried to stop himself from pausing outside the Heat Room door every time he passed it to sniff. The scent was…exciting, even without reaching the intoxicating aroma he loved when Heat started.

 

 

Two weeks later, he arrived home to find a new set of dishes on the table, new throw pillows on the sofa, a new food processor in the kitchen, and new curtains in their bedroom. They were lovely, and made a nice change in their day-to-day lives. Even more important- Nesting had left the Heat Room. 

Only about a week to Heat!

Rey cooked steak for dinner that night. She once told Ben she craved steak just before her Heats- that a mad Little Omega Voice in her head went on about steak and pups and knots and nest and she literally HAD to eat steak just to shut it up.

Ben didn’t complain at all. The alpha in him loved it.

 

 

The Heat smell was getting stronger. Now, when Rey passed him in the hall or kissed him hello when he came home, or took his hand when they walked together in the grocery store, he had a difficult time not stopping to scent her, right then and there. She smelled absolutely delicious, and she knew it; there was a wicked look in her eye as she deliberately swung her hips when she walked passed him, or lightly ran her nails up his bicep in the store…juuuust this side of acceptable, but behavior she knew would drive him nutty. She started using her favorite Heat shower-gel, and Ben could no longer be near their en-suite when she showered. The smell drove him crazy with anticipation.

She loved driving him mad just before Heat. It made things that much more fun later on.

 

 

Two days before Heat, he woke up at 3AM to an empty bed and the sound of muffled scraping and muttering in the kitchen. Pulling on a robe, he followed the spicy, intoxicating scent of Heat through the house and found Rey pacing in the kitchen, dragging a chair behind her, muttering that it wasn’t *perfect* yet. Nest must be *perfect* or Heat goes bad and pups get sick, and Nest wasn’t *PERFECT* and what should she do, because PUPS ARE SICK AND THEN THEY DIE and Nest not PERFECT and HOW COULD ALPHA WANT HER IF NEST NOT PERFECT AND MAKES PUPS SICK?!!????!!???!

The Little Omega Voice was getting out of hand. Usually Rey didn’t start muttering about pups in short, primitive sentences until the day Heat began. If the Omega Heat Vocabulary was already in use, he was in for a wild ride when Heat officially began.

Not that he would complain about THAT.

Since there was no steak handy Ben did the only other thing he knew would shut the voice up. Rey tried to resist him when he pulled her into his arms, but when he ran a finger over her mating mark she calmed immediately. “Not perfect,” she muttered again, her voice wavering in distress and nothing like her normal, firm tones, “Nest MUST be perfect, MUST be PERFECT… Nest NOT PERFECT… Nest must be PERFECT for PUPS…” 

Ben wrapped her tightly in his arms, and reaching down, sucked lightly on her mating gland. She went limp in his arms as he whispered that of course it would be perfect; her Nests were ALWAYS perfect and this one would be, too, and her Alpha was pleased with her; he knew his Omega had created a beautiful, perfect nest for them for her Heat, and he couldn’t wait to see it. He felt the moment the words sunk in as she relaxed into his arms and wrapped herself around him.

He carried her back to their bed and spent another hour demonstrating exactly how perfect she was, and by the end, they were both cuddled together, completely blissed out and speaking in complete sentences again. 

Ben was two hours late to work. No one commented on the new bruises on his neck.

 

 

Ben snuck out of the office thirty minutes early the next day. Rey’s Heat would begin in the next 12 hours or so, if it hadn’t already. She hadn’t called him, though, so he tried to work, ignored the prickling of his own mating mark as best he could, and attempted not snap the head off everyone he interacted with. He’d already gotten his Heat leave pushed through HR, so assuming Rey’s heat began as scheduled, he was off for the next week.

After all the build-up, it was about bloody time. Rey’s Heat always set off his Rut, putting him on edge, and making him snappy and angry and irritable and honestly, homicide seemed like the rational thing to do when one of his co-workers looked too happy during a meeting, and decapitating his PA for giving him lukewarm coffee sounded like an excellent disciplinary idea that he was SURE HR would approve when he explained WHY, and why on EARTH WAS HE STILL HERE WITH THESE MORONS?? HEAT IS COMING. And there was only one cure, but until Heat Officially began, knotting was denied him, and now that it was so close he could *taste* it in Rey’s scent, his alpha hormones were making him a crazy person. It was a miracle he hadn’t sported a boner for the last week. 

At least he didn’t have a little voice in his head muttering about pups. He should be grateful for the small things, he reminded himself.

Ben was certain he heard a collective sigh of relief as the office door closed behind him.

 

 

The regular 20-minute drive home seemed to take 5 hours this evening, and Ben was ready to break something (ANYTHING!), or murder someone (ANYONE!!) by the time their house finally came into view. He parked the car and ran into the house, looking for Rey in the living room, dining room, kitchen, and her office. She wasn’t there and Ben restrained himself from throwing the hall table through the wall in his frustration. Trying to calm himself, he took a deep breath and followed the Heat smell.

There she was.

The door to the Heat Room was wide open, and Rey was curled up in a ball on the middle of the bed, sleeping. Ben breathed a sigh of relief; Rey always napped just before her Heat started and when she woke up, Heat would begin in earnest. He had gotten there just in time.

Toeing off his shoes, he began unbuttoning his shirt as he moved towards the door. Rey jerked awake when he unbuckled his belt, and the next second, she was climbing him like a tree, kissing him all over and begging for his knot. Ben barely remembered to yell “HEAT!!” before they both succumbed to the frenzy that was the initial joining of Heat, a mad dance of rage and need and begging and knotting.

Heat had begun, and it was glorious.

 

 

After the initial frenzy and a couple of good, solid knots, some semblance of calm and sanity appeared to be restored. As they cuddled in the middle of the Nest waiting for the next wave, Rey tucked under his chin and his knot firmly anchoring her to him, Ben was calm enough to look around and appreciate all the work Rey had put into the Nest. The room had been completely rearranged, there were new curtains over the new windows, new sheets, new paint on the walls (a Good Thing, Ben thought, given the walls had been stained in embarrassing places), and…wait. 

A new hole in the wall?? 

Well, not a hole, really, more of a missing wall where there HAD been one last Heat. 

The Heat Room had been expanded into the next room, which now held a kitchenette with a full-sized refrigerator including ice-maker and water dispenser, a microwave and toasting oven, and a few refillable water bottles. There were even cabinets that matched those in the kitchen, and a special light over the kitchenette area. It was functional, neat, and organized, as all Rey’s designs were, and completely non-flammable- per Ben’s Heat rule. The floor was wooden parquet (which had been carried over into the original Heat Room, replacing the old carpet which had been stained in…interesting places and desperately needed replaced), with nice rugs under the furniture and next to the…baby crib?

There was a BABY CRIB??

Why was there a CRIB??

Ben tensed a little, staring wide-eyed at the white, lattice-worked baby-crib set against the wall across from the kitchenette. There was a sweet mobile attached to the ceiling above it, and a changing station a few feet away, there was a stack of formula next to a stack of diapers on the changing table, the crib was made up with the most adorable baby sheets, and Ben literally COULD NOT BELIEVE HIS EYES because there was a BABY CRIB in the Heat Room, which is the last place in the world there should EVER be a CRIB.

Rey stirred slightly and muttered under her breath about steak and pups.

“Um…Babe?” Ben stroked Rey’s head absently as he stared wide-eyed at the crib.

“Mmmm??” Rey blinked up at him blearily before breaking into a radiant, (rabid) Heat-fueled grin. His Alpha preened under her contented gaze. His lucid self was a bit horrified.

“Wh…wha…um…what happened to the wall?”

“Mmmm…nest too small.” Apparently, the knots hadn’t completely quelled Little Omega Voice, because Rey wasn’t speaking in full sentences yet.

“The nest was too small?”

“Mmmmm…not big enough for pups. No room to play.”

“Pups.” Ben couldn’t figure out how to tell Rey she needed to use *all* her words, and not just her Omega Heat Vocabulary.

“Mmmmm…pups. Alpha work good. Omega work good. Big, safe nest. Lots of steak. Time for pups.”

“Does…are you…um…are you saying…you want a baby?”

“Mmmm…yes. Pups. Big, strong pups. Big, safe den. Lots of room for pups to play. Nice, big steaks for pups and Alpha.” Rey grinned up at him, and from the rather rabid look in her eyes Ben wasn’t sure whether he was seeing the physical incarnation of Little Omega Voice looking up at him, or his mate of three years. “Lots and lots of pups.”

“So… that’s a yes. To having a baby.”

“Mmmm…pups. Strong Alpha mate. Strong pups.” Rey sighed contentedly as her omega preened and snuggled closer to him. “Alpha plays with pups outside. I feed pups steak inside…pups…” Her muttering trailed off as she fell asleep.

(Ben didn’t know whether to laugh or be horrified Rey was this far gone, even after two knots. Usually, that shut up the L.O.V. and they didn't hear from her again until just before the next Heat. Either way, he wished he had bought the video camera function with the security system, because the video of this conversation would be excellent blackmail when Rey was lucid again. If he hadn’t been so short-sighted, he’d never have had to play Pictionary with Rose, Finn and Poe again.)

Pups. 

They were going to have pups.

Wait. 

*Baby*. They were going to have *a baby*. An *actual human baby*, not a pup. Or pups. But babies. Ben reminded himself that HE did not need to use the Omega Heat Vocabulary. 

Ugh…Heat.

Ben pulled her closer and snuggled his mate deeper into the Nest.

Pups.

He grinned and kissed her hair as she sighed into his chest and cuddled closer.

 

 

In a bizarre Heat twist, Rey’s Little Omega Voice didn’t release Sane and Lucid Rey until the 3rd Official Day of Heat (two and a half full days behind her normal Heats) and Ben’s repeated inquiries about the crib, the wall, and the other new Heat amenities were universally met with “Good for pups,” or “Best for steak. Pups need steak,” or “No room for pups. Now they can play,” until then.

On the bright side, Little Omega Voice was a horny bitch, and Ben enjoyed every second of it. This Heat was definitely a Wild Ride. 

 

 

“Bloody hell, what is wrong with you, Ben? You’re supposed to stay safe in the nest with me!”

Ben turned from the kitchenette and looked over at Rey, who, despite her obvious anxiety, emerged from the nest looking looked sated and happy and more herself than she had since Heat began. 

Ben grinned at her. “Food. Steak.” He held up the steak-filled Hot Pockets he had just pulled out of the freezer. Rey gave him the stink-eye, but grinned, and he realized she’d used a full sentence for the first time since Heat began. “Was that a complete sentence, Mrs. Solo? Are you using your words again?”

“Very funny, Mr. Solo. Get your hot ass back in the nest! And bring the damn steak with you!”

“Of course!! It’s my duty as your Alpha to provide food, as you informed me on several occasions over the last few days.” He winked when Rey raised an eyebrow at him. “Now that you’re speaking in full sentences, though, we can…um…discuss a few things. Like what happened to the wall that used to be here. And why there is a crib in the Heat…Suite.”

“Heat Suite. I like that.” Rey grinned. “Maybe I’ll have a sign made for the door.”

“Deflection, Omega. Don’t make me use a command.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “As if you would use an Alpha command on the mother of your pups.” She clapped a hand over her mouth as if she couldn’t believe what had come out of it, closed her eyes for a second and seemed to be having some kind of strange, internal conversation with herself. Ben snickered. When she opened her eyes, she leveled him a look clearly indicating he needed to leave that the hell alone. “Ask your questions, Ben. I am fully capable of answering whatever you want to know.”

Ben snorted and pulled a newly-heated Hot Pocket from the microwave. “Says the woman who spent the last 3 days muttering about pups, steak, and good pup-making knots.” He grinned, remembering one memorable knotting when Rey melted beneath him, assuring him that this was the best pup-making knot she’d ever had and she needed more steak to be sure the pups were healthy.

(That was the Ben Solo paraphrase of something not nearly as lucid. In reality, Rey had sounded more like, “Good Knot! BEST Knot! PUP KNOT!!!!! Pups! Pups from Good Pup Knot! BEST PUP KNOT! One pup…two pups…no, FOUR PUPS from BEST PUP KNOT!! Alpha has BEST PUP KNOTS! Need steak! BIG STEAK!! Alpha, get steak for pups!!)

Rey flushed and looked horrified. “I actually said that??”

Ben grinned wider. “Yes, you did. You may also have complimented my prowess as an Alpha and assured me you would diligently care for the quadruplets one of my knots would produce. As long as I provide the steak” Rey hid her face in her hands. Ben’s grin widened even further.

(Ben did not mention his Alpha side was SO excited about his Amazing Pup Knot (as Ben’s Alpha immediately dubbed it), sure to conceive quadruplets, that Ben literally regained lucidity from the heat-induced frenzy of Rey’s proclamation with his phone in his hand and a confused butcher on the line, asking him if Ben was certain he wanted ALL the steak in the butcher shop delivered immediately?? Because that was a LOT of steak and a LOT of money, and he really wasn’t making a lot of sense??? Ben vaguely recalled plans to buy out all the steak he could find in town and stack it around the nest so his Omega and the pups would have plenty to eat. “Alpha provides STEAK!!” he’d roared… 

In a horrified voice he apologized to the butcher and hung up, frantically checking his phone for other calls out. There had been several, but as no one showed up with truck-loads of steak, the calls apparently weren’t to butchers. Either that or no one took him seriously.

He didn’t dare call them to find out who they were or whether he’d placed an order with them.

Ben breathed a sigh of relief Rey would never know how close she came to regaining lucidity in a house full of steak with more being delivered every hour, to the delight of Mrs. Arbogast, all their neighbors, and every butcher and grocery store in town.

On second thought, he was grateful he hadn’t installed that video system. Very, very grateful…)

“It appears the L.O.V. was on a rampage this heat. Normally I have enough control to censor the worst of it.”

“Apparently. Which brings us back to the wall, the crib, and me playing with pups in the backyard while you cook steak morning, noon and night.” Rey flinched. “Yeah, Little Voice clued me in on that, too. I thought your major goal was designing the biggest skyscraper in the country. Little Voice was quite clear that is not true. According to HER, ‘getting best pup knots’ is at the very top of your list.”

“That is not my dream! That is a heat-fueled fantasy!” Rey threw a pillow at him, which Ben dodged as he brought two (paper) plates with Hot Pockets over to the nest and handed one to Rey. She sniffed as she took it (‘Ah, good- steak!’), and grudgingly allowed Ben to resume his place in the nest.

Clearing his throat as he cut up his Hot Pocket, Ben continued. “Again, I direct your attention to the missing wall. How did you remove a wall in the house without my knowledge? What purpose does removing the wall serve?”

Rey rolled her eyes and swallowed her bite of food. “Silly Alpha.” She gave him a wicked smirk. “We needed more room for the pups, of course.” Ben glared at her. “Okay, okay. Yes, we needed more room for the pu…um…baby, but seriously, this room is too small when we are in a full frenzy, and I started feeling claustrophobic last heat because of it and then you always had to leave to get food, and I can’t leave the Heat Room when I’m in heat…hell, it’s hard to leave the nest most of the time… it makes me too anxious and when you leave my anxiety goes through the roof and I just thought if I could *see* you while you prepared food then maybe that would be easier.”

Ben put down his fork and moved his plate to the bed stand, pulling Rey into his lap and against his chest. “Why didn’t you tell me, Darling? We could have done this earlier, or at the very least we could have made plans to order food in so I wouldn’t be away from you as long. I hate it when your heat makes you anxious.”

Rey sank into his lap and cuddled to his chest with a sigh. “I couldn’t come up with a plan that made sense until a couple of months ago, when it occurred to me we weren’t using the room next door, and it was the perfect size AND could easily support plumbing hook-ups from the bathroom which would work for a kitchenette and support a full refrigerator, solving two problems at once. A small doorway wouldn’t have worked because I can’t see you from all parts of the nest, but it wasn’t a load-bearing wall, so it was easy to remove it and combine the two rooms.” Rey took a bite of food, then continued. “So I re-did the house plans and called Finn’s crew in to do the work. Took them all of two days, including clean-up.” She smiled up at him. “As per our agreement, they kept it all out of sight so you could have your surprise.”

Ben kissed her forehead. “My clever little Omega.” He settled her closer to his chest, and pulled his plate back toward him. “The kitchenette is a great idea- I was wondering how you got the built-in ice-maker and water dispenser to work, but you’re right about the bathroom.” Now he smirked. “So. Pups.” Rey grimaced. “I know we discussed this and I told you it was completely up to you when we had pu…um, a baby, and that absolutely has not changed; I’m thrilled. But I was a bit shocked when I saw that crib.”

“In my defense, I hadn’t expected to be demon-possessed by the L.O.V. and completely lose my sense of self and autonomy, even after the first Heat frenzy. All I can think is my decision to have a baby sent my Omega into overdrive. I hadn’t meant to tell you like that, or leave you for…how long was it??…without being able to rationally discuss it with you.”

Ben smirked. “Oh, Darling. We discussed it.” Rey raised an eyebrow at that as if to say, ‘yeah, right!’ “I heard all about pups and playing and good steak and good knots and good Alpha providing good steak and good knots and strong pups and BEST PUP KNOTS and good Alpha gives best pup knots AND provides best steak.” Rey turned red and hid her face in Ben’s chest. “And lucid-you was AWOL for 3 days.” He kissed the top of her head. Rey started trembling; Ben couldn’t tell if it was out of horror or laughter or something more Heat-related… “A very educational three days, between the Heat frenzy, the new additions to the Heat Suite, and the crib.” He kissed her head and stroked her back in a way he knew made Lucid Rey shiver. “I love the new windows, by the way. The curtains didn’t hold up, of course, but the windows have done a bang-up job.”

Rey grinned. “I knew we had to have them when I saw the flyer come through the office. Heat-approved windows just seemed like the best thing for us, given our…situation… in this neighborhood.” Rey stared off into the distance and narrowed her eyes at something Ben couldn’t see. “I don’t want Mrs. Arbogast seeing the pups AT ALL. EVER. She’s stingy with her steak! They’ll get SICK!”

Ben tried not to laugh (but he did shake slightly until he got it under control), and the next second Rey realized what she’d said and clapped her hand over her mouth in horror (again), but Ben soothed her with a kiss on her mating mark and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“I completely agree, my little Omega. Mrs. Arbogast should not be allowed NEAR our pups; she is terribly stingy with her steak.”

Rey grinned and reached up to kiss him while running a hand down his chest in a manner she knew drove him crazy. “I’m so glad, Alpha.”

The Heat Suite got rather loud there for a while. At least they managed to keep from rolling onto their abandoned Hot Pockets.

A Best Pup Knot may or may not have happened.

 

 

Nine months later, Mrs. Arbogast noticed the Solo house was dark for several days. There hadn’t been a Ruckus in a while, and Mrs. Solo hadn’t been seen much in the last few months (honestly, she seemed to take this whole Omega thing- whatever THAT was- too seriously; she even WORKED from home), and this either meant they were on vacation OR there was another Ruckus going on, and they had knocked out the electricity. After they set that fire, of COURSE they would do something that crazy.

Mrs. Arbogast wasn’t entirely clear on what the Solo Ruckuses was all about- during the last Ruckus, she’d hear a lot of yelling about amazing knots from Mr. Solo, and best pup knots and steak from Mrs. Solo, but they didn’t have a dog (unless they were torturing some poor thing in their house- maybe she should call the ASPCA to come check into it???), they didn’t have a boat (Wasn’t that what a pup-knot was?? Something with sailing?? Or was it camping?? She couldn’t remember clearly.) they didn’t barbecue anything that evening, and as far as she could see, neither of them were crafty people, so they couldn’t be talking about knitting or crocheting or something *normal*. 

Maybe they did macrame?? Hmmmm…

It probably had something to do with that silly Alpha/Beta/Omega nonsense she’d heard about on the news. From what she’d seen, it seemed to refer to some kind of twisted nudist thing. Those two were always running around the house in their birthday suits, and they were ALWAYS in the altogether whenever they were in that blasted Room of Iniquity. Maybe they’d gone to a nudist convention? Seems like she’d seen one advertised just down the coast- they were probably having a get-together this week… THAT must be why Mrs. Solo didn’t work outside the home! She couldn’t stand the feel of clothes, so she stayed shut up all day so she could run around naked!

That had to be it.

So she was a little surprised when Mr. Solo’s car pulled up in the middle of the afternoon (he was some corporate workaholic big-wig who ALWAYS worked until 6PM every day- he shouldn’t even BE home in the middle of the afternoon!), and he carefully assisted Mrs. Solo out of the back seat, then turned and pulled out a baby car seat. And then another.

Well. THIS was a development she needed to know more about. How had she missed THIS when she walked past their house?? Or when she stood outside the windows to that blasted Room of Iniquity?

She made a bee-line over to the Solo’s driveway, and put on her most charming smile.

Mrs. Solo noticed her first. She smiled widely at Mrs. Arbogast, one of those mega-watt celebrity smiles that showed a lot of teeth- very long, sharp-looking teeth, acutally- and there was a weird rumbling sound in the air as Rey moved over to intercept her.

“Hello Mrs. Arbogast!”

“Hello, Mrs. Solo! Well, this is a to-do! I didn’t know you were expecting- and to have twins! What a lovely blessing!” ‘Get her talking’, thought Mrs. Arbogast. ‘If there are going to be nudists here, the neighborhood needs to know! Hopefully I can get her to spill the beans.’

Mrs. Solo’s smile became wider and a little bit crazy. The strange rumbling sound happened again. It almost sounded like a wolf…but the Solos didn’t have a pet, and certainly there were no wolves in town; that was just crazy. “Thank you. Ben and I are thrilled. We’ve wanted to start a family for a while.” She smiled sweetly, in a crazy way she always had when Mrs. Arbogast spoke to her. It was a little unnerving.

“Rey, I’m just going to take the pu…uh…the twins inside. It’s too cool out here.” Rey nodded, and he picked up both car seats and carried them inside the house, glowering at Mrs. Arbogast (she never could figure out why he glowered at *her*; she was a lovely person who had *never* been anything but kind to him!), but otherwise ignoring her. ‘He *knows* I KNOW!’ she thought. It was all starting to come together.

The weird rumbling sound ceased when the door closed behind him.

“Well, dear, if you need help, or a babysitter, please do let me know! I’d love to give you a hand if you need it- those first few weeks with new babies are so difficult.”

“Oh, thank you! So kind of you to offer, but Ben’s parents are coming for a few weeks to help out.” Mrs. Solo’s smile seemed a bit menacing now. “I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

This confirmed all Mrs. Arobogast’s fears. Only a crazy nudist would refuse an offer of assistance after giving birth.

After a few more minutes futilely trying to get more information out of Mrs. Solo (that girl was SO unhelpful!), Mrs. Arbogast finally gave up, and rather rudely bade her goodbye.

Well. She couldn’t imagine how those poor, sweet babies would turn out with such an ungrateful, nudist mother. She went back to her house and picked up the telephone. Mrs. Prentice, four houses down, needed to know about this.

 

 

Rey went inside and found Ben on the sofa in the living room, holding Padme against his chest with Breha cradled in his lap. She picked up Breha and hugged her tightly. “Thank you for getting them in the house. She actually offered to *babysit*.” Rey looked a little murderous.

Ben growled again. “Over my dead body. I’ll rip her throat out first.” 

Rey grinned and patted his leg. “After I’m done with her, of course.” She curled up next to him and settled Breha on her shoulder, absently rubbing her back. “I’m sure we’ll hear something about this soon- she was fishing for something, but I’m not entirely sure what.” Rey rolled her eyes and moved closer to Ben, sighing when he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and drew her and Breha closer. “I’d almost bet she’s on the phone now with Mrs. Prentice, filling her in on whatever hair-brained idea she’s concocted about us.”

“Just say the word, honey, and I will take care of it. I could have a ‘cease and desist’ sent, since ripping her throat out isn’t an option.” He sighed as if using legal means instead of violence was cutting into his fun. “I’m sure Lando would be thrilled to take her on for attempting to harass his new god daughters.”

Rey’s look was wicked. “Is it wrong that I would adore seeing you go full Alpha like that?” She leaned over and kissed him. “I think that would cause more problems than it’s worth, honestly, but I seriously don’t want her around the pu…twins.” Both of them looked a little murderous, and Ben only realized he was growling when Padme whimpered. He stroked her back to calm her.

“When will your parents be here?”

“They should arrive around dinner time. I thought we could order in. Is there anything you’d like?”

Rey spoke without thinking. “Steak. Lots and lots of steak.” She nodded firmly and rubbed Breha’s back. “Keeps pups healthy.”

Ben eyed Rey anxiously. “Was that…um…Omega Heat Vocabulary?”

Rey clapped a hand over her mouth. “I…I can’t even…um…maybe?”

Ben snickered. “Well. Alright then. As long as you don’t go screaming for Best Pup Knots while we’re eating dinner with my folks, we can handle that.”

Rey smacked him on the shoulder, then cuddled closer. “As long as Alpha provides best steak for pups. I think we’ve had enough Best Pup Knots for a while.”

Ben couldn’t agree more.


	2. Alpha Provides STEAK!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So after I posted the first bit...yeah. This happened. Still not entirely sure if I should give up my Adult Card for this, but I recently posted a journal article, so I'll keep my Academic Card for a bit longer. :)
> 
> There will be one more chapter after this- after 7500 words with no end in sight I cut it here and I'll finish up the last section and post it at some point in the future. As with my other fics, I don't make any kind of guarantee of WHEN there will be an update, only that there WILL be.
> 
> Hopefully, after this, I can get back to Porgs...Poe Dameron's fate is hanging in the balance!
> 
> Enjoy the crack, folks!

The first time Rey realized all things were not *exactly* as kosher as Ben might have her believe was during their second heat together, when she came to from a Heat frenzy and found she and Ben knotted together, swathed in blankets, laying on the grass in front of their house while firemen swarmed all over, putting out the fire caused by her candle (which was apparently not the best idea she ever had), and dragging a lot of big fans through her lovely nest to air out the smoke- she nearly cried when she saw the mess they’d made of it. She turned to mention it to Ben (he tended to go all Alpha about things in the Nest- she always loved it), but Ben’s eyes were a little unfocused, and he had a thing going with her mating glad; he kept snuffling over it, licking and sucking lightly at it, making her shiver as he growled in satisfaction, nuzzled her neck, and muttered about steak and good Omega slicks. As in, he needed more steak, his Omega had a perfect slick, strong pups would definitely be the easiest thing in the world to conceive with such a perfect Omega slick, and WHERE WAS THE STEAK. 

Of course, it wasn’t *quite* that coherent. Nothing about Heat or Rut really is, of course, but usually, Rey is the incoherent one, not Ben. The Little Omega Voice (as Rey has taken to calling it) is loud, lewd, and totally in change the first day of Heat, but Ben is never really anything but compos mentis. At least, that’s what *he* thought.

Rey knew differently pretty quickly.

The next time she suspected *something* was up with her Alpha was their 3rd Heat. After a round of Heat, they had finally gotten back to their Hot Pockets (they were a little bit smashed, but still warm and…um… salvageable, though Rey found some filling in her hair a few minutes later) and Ben literally licked his off the plate muttering “Best steak!”, growling the entire time. A moment later, he seemed to shake his head, and she watched his eyes clear as *Ben* literally returned, politely taking her plate (she’d already finished her Hot Pocket and had been wondering about chocolate sauce for…um…dessert) and throwing the trash out before resuming his place in the nest. Rey wasn’t completely sure what to make of it… until it happened again during the next wave. 

So apparently this was A Thing. It might not be *quite* as potent as the L.O.V., but in it’s own way it was just as amusing. For Rey, at least. She doubted Ben would find it as funny…there were some things Alphas enjoyed about Heat, and being the butt of a Heat joke was *not* one of them.

 

It was a Momentous Occasion when Rey decided that yes, it might actually be time to start the family they’d talked about. And it seemed like quite a good idea to surprise Ben with it when he entered the Heat Room- now expanded to include a kitchenette and crib in the adjoining room- and Rey put a lot of work into making sure it was exactly what she wanted, addressed the major concerns from her last heat (with the added bonus of giving her an excuse to play with the house plans in her newest CAD program), and worked hard to ensure all her changes would go unnoticed and Ben would get the surprise he so enjoyed. Well, mostly- it was hard to hide windows, but Ben didn’t acknowledge them at all, per their Heat Rule.

It made Nesting that much more fun this Heat. She couldn’t wait to see Ben’s reaction to her little surprise.

So it shouldn’t have surprised her when the L.O.V nearly undid all her hard work two days before Heat began with a massive Omega-driven anxiety attack. Still, she was’t going to complain about Ben’s solution to the L.O.V.’s rampant anxiety- it was *definitely* better than the steak she’d made for dinner. And his solution worked pretty well. For about 24 hours.

Then Heat hit.

Rey didn’t remember much at all after she opened the door to the Heat Room and laid down for her pre-heat nap, before waking from her Heat-stupor *THREE DAYS LATER*, to Ben’s obvious amusement and the horror of knowing the L.O.V had been uncensored for *literally three days*. 

BEST Pup Knots??!!!!?!?! 

Quadruplets??!?!?!?!! 

BIG steak???

This was a catastrophe of the highest order. She was pretty sure Ben would never let her live it down; if for no other reason than he got to mimic her voice in his made-up L.O.V. Falsetto (Rey was pretty sure she NEVER sounded like that, even during Heat), because for whatever reason, Ben found her L.O.V. When Harry Met Sally impersonation to be pretty hysterical.

Rey had never liked “When Harry Met Sally”, and now she had even more reason to hate it.

Thank goodness he hadn’t gotten the video function on their security system- the blow-job Rey bribed him with at the time had definitely saved her ass. Her mate would have some pretty extensive blackmail if he’d had proof of the L.O.V in action during such…creative circumstances.

Still, the End of Heat was just as much fun as the Beginning of Heat (even if she couldn’t remember much of it), and Rey sighed in contentment as she cuddled on Ben’s lap, watching their sheets burn on the patio. Heat was over, and all was right with the world again.

 

The first indication her Heat had not gone *entirely* as Ben portrayed came three days later. Ben had returned to work the day before, and Rey stepped out to run a few errands that had come up during Heat. It was nice to get away from the house after feeling tied to the Nest for the last two weeks. Between the final touches in the Nest and Heat, she was a bit stir-crazy and needed the outing.

A call came through at the grocery store from a number she didn’t recognize, so she let it go to voicemail and finished her shopping. Checking her phone, she found a garbled message from someone that sounded like they needed to set up a delivery of some kind. Rey had no idea what that was about, so she decided she’d wait until she got settled at home to call them back.

Arriving home, she parked in the garage, leaving the door open so she could easily move her purchases into the house. As she began unloading her car, she was surprised to see a delivery van had followed her into the driveway. The advertisement on the side read “Bantha Steak Shop; Quality Butchers for Quality Steak”. Rey stared at it a moment; surely this was some kind of joke. It would be just like Ben to rub in all the L.O.V talk about good steak by providing…well… good steak.

The delivery driver got out and shook her hand, confirming they had received a phone order a few days before, and were here to deliver. Mr. Bantha (as he introduced himself) showed her the order, created about 2 days into Heat, and paid for by a credit card over the phone. Rey did a double-take when she saw the total; this was a LOT of steak. Even if this WAS a heat-joke, (and Rey would have to come up with some pretty serious retribution for her mate if it *was*), she couldn’t imagine why Ben had bought *this much* steak in one go. 

At least it solved the question of what they were having for dinner that night. Rey mentally adjusted her meal-plan from baked chicken to grilled steak, and rearranged the fridge to accommodate the chicken she’d purchased at the store. With this much steak in the house, there was no telling when they’d eat it.

The steak filled up the freezer side of their fridge and the separate freezer in the pantry, the freezer in the Heat Suite, and left several steaks in the cooler side of the fridge, waiting to be cooked for meals over the next three days. Mr. Bantha had just left and Rey was preparing to call Ben to give him grief for his “joke” (which she was not *entirely* sure was funny) when there was another knock on the door.

Wondering who on earth THAT could be, Rey opened the front door to find a short little guy with “Ziro” on his name tag, from Hutt’s Meats, with a delivery for Mr. Solo, placed 6 days before and paid for over the phone with a credit card. While Rey stared in shock at the delivery check and receipt he handed her, Ziro began carting in coolers full of steak, stacking them in the kitchen next to the breakfast nook.

After Ziro had shaken her hand and left, Rey opened one of the coolers to confirm what was on the ticket; the cooler was packed full of London broil, t-bone, chuck roast, beef loin, and rib eyes, all neatly wrapped in butcher paper and packed in ice. Her mouth hung open as she looked at all this meat.

What on EARTH was Ben thinking???

But before she could get upset, or even text her mate to ask What The HELL was going on, there was a third knock at the door.

Rey didn’t even ask to see the receipt this time, she just waved them in and told them to stack it with the rest of the meat in the breakfast nook.

 

 

After the 5th delivery, Rey was feeling pretty overwhelmed. The coolers were now running down the hallway, and there wasn’t even time to call Ben and find out what the HELL he was THINKING with all this, because she was pretty sure she’d start yelling, and the last time she’d looked outside, Mrs. Arbogast had been observing the house closely as she walked (slowly) past, and Rey was sure she’d hear *anything* said, especially at the volume Rey was planning to say it.

Aaaaaaand there was Mrs. Arbogast again, joined now by Mrs. Prentice.

This day could not get any worse. 

She and Ben were going to have Words when he got home. She could only hope the nightmare of steak she was currently living through was almost over when she opened the door to the 6th butcher in the last 2 hours (Mos Eisley Meats), and, after identifying herself as Mrs. Solo and informing him Mr. Solo was not at home, she took another delivery and order ticket from a skinny little guy with “Teedo” on his name tag, who looked her over and grinned.

“Wow, Mrs. Solo, I’m just so excited to meet you- you sounded so cute on the phone!” The look on his face was anything *but* cute. “We had a drawing to find out who would make the delivery because we ALL wanted to come out here, but Mr. San Tekka… the guy who owns the place??…he said only one person was necessary ‘cause we had to have people there to run the store front. I was thrilled when I won- but I’m a bit upset Mr. Solo isn’t here; I definitely wanted to meet HIM.” Teedo’s extreme disappointment was short-lived, given his facial expressions, quickly clearing from sadness to elation in half a second. “We had a bet going at the office that this would be a joke delivery- even though this is the largest order EVER placed at M.E.M., AND pre-paid to boot- because the guy who placed it was SO crazy, we thought someone would cancel it or the address would be bad or something. And the RECORDING! We record all our calls for Quality Assurance,” Rey could hear the capital letters in his voice when he said ‘Quality Assurance’, “And oh, man, the recording is CLASSIC! We play the recording of his call all the time for laughs when things get too serious.”

Rey’s glance sharpened. “There’s a recording?”

“Yes, ma’am… and it’s one hell of a show. You’re husband’s an Alpha, right? Yeah.” Teedo snickered and Rey blushed. “You don’t have to say yes- he yells about it a lot during the call, going on about alphas need pup-steaks, or something like that. Mr. San Tekka made sure to clarify that we don’t sell *dog* steak, ‘cause that’s just gross, and he kinda went nuts, talking about how the omega slicks are necessary for good pup knots, or something like that, and that means steak. It didn’t make a whole lotta sense, you know?” Rey blushed but nodded. Yeah, she knew pretty well. “I asked around, but no one had ever heard of an Omega slick steak. Do you know what that is?? Is it buffalo or bear or deer- oh, wait, that’s venison, sorry- or is it something else? Cause we don’t do that, just like we don’t do dog.” Rey assured him it had nothing to do with any of those, and the beef he’d brought would be more than enough. “Oh, that’s good, then. ‘Cause we really only do beef, pork, or chicken and a little lamb, and Mr. Solo was pretty clear he wanted steaks, so this is all beef. You got someplace ready for me to put it?”

Rey felt like her eyes might cross over if she saw another cooler of steak, but at the same time…a plan began to form in her mind. If she pulled this off, Ben would *never* be able to tease her about the L.O.V. Ever. Again.

 

 

Ben got out of his final meeting of the day half an hour before he usually left the office. It had been a busy day; it always was after Heat, but Ben didn’t mind it. It was nice to get back to routine after the week away, and he enjoyed the whole Corporate CEO thing he had going on, but at the same time, it would be nice to get home to Rey and enjoy another evening of Post-Heat cuddling. It always took a few days for both of them to completely readjust to Heat being over, and Rey was always a little extra cuddly until the adjustment was made.

Ben loved it.

As usual, Ben left his phone in his office for meetings, and picked it up just before he walked out of the office for the day, not bothering to check it right away; Rey knew he left his phone on his desk, and would call his PA if there was an emergency. So he was unprepared when he got into his car and plugged his phone in to find 15 picture messages from his mate, and a half-dozen texts asking him What The Hell Was Going On?

Ben’s brow furrowed for a moment. He had no clue what she was talking about. Even more strange; it looked like she’d sent a bunch of pictures of plastic cubes. He had no idea what that was about; it looked like some kind of futuristic exhibit at an art show. What the hell was Rey doing at an art show, anyway?? She’d mentioned running a couple of post-heat errands, maybe going to the groc….

Oh.

OH.

Suddenly, Ben wasn’t sure he wanted to go home after all. Maybe he could catch a flight to Antarctica? Somewhere cold and remote where Rey would never find him? Because he was pretty sure there was now proof his Alpha side had been…ummm…maybe…a little, tiny, minuscule bit, sort of… out of control?… during Heat? And he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to face what were sure to be mounds of evidence Rey wasn’t the only one who had Heat Issues.

His phone dinged again, and he saw another picture come through- this one with three shadowy figures huddled together on the sidewalk. A closer look revealed Mrs. Arbogast, Mrs Prentice, and tiny Mrs. Cumberwiggens huddled in a group on the sidewalk in front of his house.

So he was dead. This was it. His life was over.

He wouldn’t even be able to escape to Antarctica, because Rey would TRACK HIM DOWN and MAKE him come back with her to deal with the Mess surely brewing in the minds of the three women standing in front of his house right now. Rey had her ways; she knew ALL his weaknesses and EXACTLY how to exploit them, as he knew from personal experience. Not even the prospect of a good blow job (or 10) made him want to stay home with this mess, though he was sure Rey would come up with something. Maybe something worse. Or better, as the case may be.

Probably worse.

As he turned onto their street, Ben seriously considered driving on through the neighborhood and heading to the opposite side of the country; the ladies Arbogast, Prentice and Cumberwiggens were still congregated in front of his house, and he would have to run the Gauntlet of Neighborhood Old Biddies if he wanted to get into his own home. Maybe if he just waved a bit at them, and did the whole Stern Angry Alpha Routine they’d let him through?? It usually worked pretty well. Except when he was dealing with Rey, of course.

Ben waved slightly at the group congregated on his sidewalk as he pulled into the driveway, and cringed a moment before reminding himself he was an Alpha of the First Order, he could deal with a bunch of Old Biddies and his mate, he would (probably) survive this to go to work tomorrow and meet with the three clients he had planned to handle, and surely Rey wouldn’t be *too* mad when he told her the whole story; in fact, she might *even* find it just a tiny bit funny, and he would do literally ANYTHING to prevent Poe, Finn, Rose, Hux, Phasma, or (heaven forbid) his parents from ever finding out he apparently ordered up most of the steak in town in a total frenzy of Alpha hormones (that apparently matched anything Rey’s L.O.V could come up with on a bad day) when his Heat-crazed Omega declared he had Amazing Pup Knots that would definitely produce quadruplets.

His hand still shook while he opened the car door.

 

 

Later, Ben could never quite remember how he got from the garage to the house; it was so terrible his brain blocked out the entire experience, and he was just getting ready to insert his key into the lock when Rey opened the door. To Ben’s utter and complete shock, she greeted him with a wide smile, showing every single one of her *very* sharp, white teeth, and a beatific look on her face that frankly frightened the absolute *hell* out of him because Rey *never* smiled like that when Good Things were about to happen. 

Some kind of 7th Level of Hell Shit was about to Hit the Fan.

“Ben! Darling! You’re home from work!” Her voice carried quite well and her smile got wider as she waved behind him to the group congregated on their front sidewalk. “Good evening, ladies!” she called, as she pulled Ben into the house, closed the door behind them, and drug him into the kitchen. Well, she drug him into what had at one time been the kitchen; every countertop was covered in coolers stacked three high, and several on the floor and table were open, displaying their contents. Hundreds of packages of neatly wrapped steak stared back at him from the counter, coolers running down the hall and into the open Heat Suite, where Ben could see even MORE coolers stacked against the far wall.

OK. 

So he’d ordered some steak. He could bluff his way out of this. It would be fine. 

Maybe…maybe they could donate it to a food bank or something. Ben perked up; now THAT was a great idea- it would definitely look good for a CEO to be making that kind of donation, and he could throw in a little free advertising to the…gads, how many butchers were there???…that had made this donation possible, and yeah, he could definitely handle this! He was an Alpha of the First Order, and he could handle anything! Even a little bit…well… a LOT…of steak.

But Rey didn’t stop at the kitchen, she pulled him through to her office, and forced him to sit down in front of her laptop. The screen showed her email program was open, and if there was some kind of reaction Ben was expecting, this was Not It. When he looked up to question his mate, the wide, beatific smile had gotten wider (if that was even possible) and there was a new *glint* in her eyes. 

There. Was.

A. GLINT.

This was NOT GOOD. This was NOT GOOD AT ALL. Ben had no words for how NOT GOOD this was, and when he smiled back at Rey, he realized his hands were shaking.

Rey’s smile grew even more horrifying when she reached across him to push a button her her laptop.

There was a brief hum of elevator music and a recorded voice reminding the listener All Calls Are Recorded for Quality Assurance before a slight click indicated the call had been transferred to an agent. His heart dropped to the floor.

“Mos Eisley Meats- Lor San Tekka speaking. How may I assist you?”

“STEAK!! Need Steak! BIG Steak! Need ALL STEAK! Alpha provides STEAK for PUPS!” His words were garbled enough it sounded like “steak-pups”. “Omega need pups, pups need STEAK!”

Ben had a slight out-of-body experience. 

There was a slight pause. “I can certainly assist you with this,” Mr. San Tekka’s voice is polite, but a little cautious now; Ben sounds like a crazy person, and the notes of an Alpha command rang through the recording. A faint click indicated another person had picked up on the line; Ben’s ears turned red when he realized there was now more than one person bearing witness to his…well. “We carry a wide variety of beef products; rib eye, London broil, chuck steak, t-bone, and prime rib, among others. Do you have a particular kind of steak you prefer?”

“BIG steak! LARGE STEAK! Pups need steak, Omega needs steak, Alpha provides STEAK!! ALL STEAK!” There was a faint mewling in the background, and Ben heard Rey whining about needing Best Pup Knot.

“We have some large rib-eyes at the moment; do you have a particular weight you are looking for?”

“Big weight! Pups need BIG steak!” From the growl in his voice, it sounded like he’s said “Pup BIG STEAK!”

Another long pause and more shuffling and clicking on the line; when Mr. San Tekka spoke again, the echo in the recording indicated Ben was now on speakerphone. Ben could practically hear the gears in the man’s head turning as he attempted to interpret Ben’s request. “I’m afraid we don’t carry dog, sir; will beef suffice?”

“No- need STEAK!! Omega need STEAK for Good Slick! Pups need STEAK! Alpha need STEAK for pup knot! Give Alpha STEAK! ALL STEAK!!”

“An Omega…slick…steak? Ahhhh…Hmmm.” Confusion colored his voice as Mr. San Tekka attempted figure out What The Hell Ben was talking about. Despite sounding a little overwhelmed- after all most of his questions hadn’t received any kind of coherent reply, and “Omega slick steak” just sounded creepy, he decided to ignore it and get to business “And how many steaks would you like?”

“ALL STEAK!” Ben was snuffling now, and Rey’s mewling was a little louder, something about Best Pup Knots needing more steak for Alpha; he must have been nuzzling her mating gland or something. “Need ALL steak for pups!” A slight licking sound picked up on the recording. “Alpha provides STEAK!” Ben roared.

“Um…just to confirm; you want all the steak? This is quite a large order, sir. Would you like to designate how many pounds of each steak you would like?”

“Alpha needs ALL STEAK!” Bring steak for pups and Omega!”

There was a long pause here (Ben heard something that sounded like a cough of laughter) and a quiet scratching noise; apparently Mr. San Tekka was writing something down. Rey’s mewling continued, begging for four pups from Best Pup Knot, promising good slick and best steak if Alpha gives four pups in litter. 

“I can deliver 1000 pounds of steak in a variety of cuts on…Wednesday of next week. Will that be acceptable?”

“Good! Steak GOOD! Bring STEAK! Alpha needs steak for pups and Omega! Lots of steak for Omega and pups! Omega needs steak for pups!”

“Very well, sir. That is 1000 pounds of a variety of steak and cuts; given the size of this order, I will give you the 10% discount we offer a bulk order. The total for this is…” the sound of typing filled the room, “$3987.03, with free delivery and storage containers. To whom should I address this order? And how would you like to pay for this? Because of the size of this order, we will require payment in full before delivery.” There was a slight giggle from the other end that was quickly shushed.

“Alpha have card!” As he listened to himself rattling off his name, address, phone number and the numbers for his black Amex on the recording, Ben cursed his anal-retentive nature that caused him to memorize all his credit card information in the case of emergencies. A quick glance at his mate confirmed her smile was even wider now; she’d been *slightly* irritated-in-an-amused-way by this in the past, certain this would cause problems eventually, and Ben was not about to acknowledge she was right.

Yet.

The recording continued. “We appreciate your business, Mr. Solo. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Steak GOOD! Bring STEAK!’

“I will confirm the delivery time on Wednesday by telephone. Have a good day, Mr. Solo! Thank you for using Mos Eisley Meats for your butchering needs; we appreciate your business.” Knowing the call was recorded apparently prompted good customer service. Mostly. There was another muffled snicker, and a click as the line went dead. 

Ben stared at the laptop as the file stopped playing; he felt like the proverbial deer in the headlights. If he moved at all, Rey would pounce, and pounce *hard*.

“So. Mr. Solo. Steak.”

Words failed him. He could only stare at the little play button on Rey’s laptop.

“Imagine my surprise when I pulled into the driveway from the grocery store- where, for your information, I’d just bought *chicken* for dinner- and saw a butcher pull in behind me. My first thought was this was a Heat joke- you *are* rather fond of making fun of the L.O.V at my expense, and I will admit that ordering a few good steaks as a joke after the last heat *would* have been appropriately funny, but when the butcher gave me a receipt for 1500 pounds of steak, it really wasn’t funny any more.”

Ben gulped but didn’t meet Rey’s eyes. 

“Just as I pick up the phone to call you and give you absolute HELL for that stunt, there’s another knock on the door and there’s ANOTHER butcher with receipts for another 1200 pounds of steak, followed by ANOTHER with 1600 pounds of steak, and the fourth with 2000 pounds of steak. That was the biggest so far, by the way, and the delivery driver was a leering idiot named Sebulba who kept looking me over and making comments about how a *real* Alpha would never leave a cute little thing like me alone… And it just kept coming from there.”

Ben’s Alpha reared up at that, and he made a mental note to make sure Sebulba never spoke to an Omega again, before Rey began speaking and he knew he had better pay complete attention to her because Rey was dangerous when she was smiling like that.

“And then I glanced outside and saw Mrs. Arbogast. She was, of course, *quite* interested in what was going on. And she has walked past this house no fewer than 13 times on her own, and another 4 with Mrs. Prentice. Mrs. Cumberwiggens just arrived before you drove in, and now…” Rey paused to glance out the window. “…it looks like Mr. Cumberwiggens has joined them.” Ben’s pallor increased; Mr. Cumberwiggens was on the Home Owner’s Association board, and Ben had been working to improve relations with the HOA since that fire during their second Heat; Mr. Cumberwiggens had been especially vocal about the firemen laying them out on the front lawn. “This is a subdivision for FAMILIES, not a Den of Iniquity!” he’d yelled when he confronted Ben about it. He did not appreciate Ben’s explanation that the *firemen* made the decision to move them where they did, prioritizing *putting out the damn fire*, and Ben and Rey would certainly have preferred their fenced back yard.

“I think you’ve got some…reparations to make, don’t you?”

Ben swallowed and managed to bob his head once.

“What was that, Mr. Solo? I didn’t hear anything.”

“Ye…Yes,” Ben’s voice cracked on the last note and he cleared his throat. “Yes.” This sounded more like his normal tones, though he was dismayed to realize his voice was shaking. 

“So, what do you think we should do?”

Ben sighed and thought fast. This was going to be a very long night.

 

 

It took three calls to get ahold of Ben’s P.A. Mitaka, who was not terribly thrilled at working overtime until he heard *why* overtime was required. Once he stopped laughing (and THAT took more time than Ben felt was *absolutely* necessary), he assured Ben he would get the steak removed within a few hours. Sure enough, an hour later, the first of a series of local food banks showed up, thrilled to get a donation of so much meat, and possessing freezer units large enough to preserve the steak until it could be distributed appropriately. 

Ben resolved to give Mitaka a sizable bonus for making sure *this much* steak was properly disposed of so late in the day, and to ensure his silence in the office gossip pool, throw in a massive raise on his next paycheck. He’d find *some* way to get it through HR, even if he had to resort to threats and bribes.

It took another 2 hours for normalcy to be restored to the Solo Household as representatives from the different food banks pulled up and carted steak out of the house, sending Rey into an Omega Cleaning Frenzy as she waved goodbye to the last of the steak and pulled out the vacuum to clean up all the dirt tracked in. Sadly, this deprived Ben of the Post-Heat Cuddling he was so looking forward to, as Rey brandished her cleaning rag and vacuuming wand at him, threatening to make him dust the tchotchies in the front room if he didn’t handle the Situation brewing on their sidewalk- horrifying Ben to no end, because Rey was VERY particular about how those nuisances were dusted and she would KNOW if he tried to just give them a little wipe-off instead of what she felt like was the Full Cleaning they needed, reinforcing to Ben his mate’s displeasure and clearly indicating that This Was Not His Night, and unless he was successful in quelling the Old Biddie Storm brewing on their front sidewalk, Tomorrow Might Not Be His Night, Either. It might even go to the Night After That.

Thus Ben took his courage in hand, stepped outside and explained to Mr. Cumberwiggens that he had planned a donation to local charities through his company, First Order Finance, but there had been a mistake made by the assistant who arranged the deliveries, and everything was erroneously sent to his personal address. It was plausible enough no one could really pick at it- after all, this *was* for charity, and certainly could not be traced back to a Ruckus, though Mrs. Arbogast made sure to remind them one had recently occurred and therefore *must* be the cause of all this mess, and declared a Conspiracy was afoot. Fortunately, Rey came out to reinforce his story with her mega-watt smile that seemed to scare people more than reassure them. At least it got the group of Old Biddies to move off the sidewalk in front of their house.

 

 

Ben resolutely ignored his neighbors for the next 3 months, using his Stern Angry Alpha Routine every time he left the house. Though there had been news coverage of the Solo’s *generous* donation to local food banks (and Mr. San Tekka had personally called to thank him for the free advertising- Ben swore he was on speakerphone the entire conversation and heard *someone* complain that this call wasn’t nearly as funny as the last one) it did not completely quell Mrs Arbogast and the Neighborhood Biddy Coalition from coming up with some rather odd theories of What Exactly *Actually* Happened. Unfortunately, Rey made it her mission to inform him of *every little rumor* that arose out of the neighborhood. Just to *keep him informed*, as she put it, of the latest news. 

Rey’s favorite theory was (of course) put forward by Mrs. Arbogast; the Ruckus had actually been a large Alpha Orgy, and everyone had kenneled their dogs in the basement (because they kept yelling about pup knots- right??), and the Solos fed all the dogs steak to keep them from barking too loudly. After all, the HOA allowed only TWO dogs per household, and if there was an orgy going on, there would be at LEAST 4, and that would cause a lot of noice and *other*, more sanitary issues. Mrs. Arbogast left the *sanitary issues* to her listener’s imagination, but her *look* indicated all kinds of terribly *unsanitary* practices had been involved. 

Plus an orgy would work up an appetite, so there would be steak needed for THAT as well- and they probably had THOSE people locked up in the basement as well- she seriously considered calling the FBI to investigate… This continued until Mrs. Cumberwiggens reminded Mrs. Arbogast that pup knots had something to do with sailing, and that couldn’t be what was going on here, they were too far from a major body of water. Or so *she* thought. Mrs. Arbogast was pretty sure an orgy would require code language… like in the movies???… and it would make SENSE to have them base it on sailing to throw everyone off the scent of what was REALLY going on.

This amused Rey to no end. Though she and Ben had negotiated No Direct Mention of the Situation could be made during their discussion on Reparations, this did not prevent Rey from talking about the *rumors* surrounding it, and she took full advantage of Ben’s lack of foresight by exploiting the loophole.

Ben bore it as patiently as he could. At least Rey had agreed not to mention it to anyone else outside the two of them. He didn’t even mind losing his right to tease her about the L.O.V., given the recording she had saved on a work server at her architectural firm that he could not access. He would never recover from the embarrassment of his friends, co-workers or parents finding out about his little…um…problem, and keeping Rey happy was key to ensuring they *never* found out.

Happy wife, happy life, right?

**Author's Note:**

> I thought about throwing in tarantulas just for MalevolentReverie, but I couldn't fit them in. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
